Justin,

While I didn't comment on the first revision of your paper, my sentiments were very similar to what Dana mentioned. Your latest revision is much, much cleaner. Getting rid of the references to "what the class thought" etc, now gives this paper much more professional legitimacy (if you get what I mean). Very well done in that respect.

As far as substantive comments, I feel that the first paragraph of the "Social Costs" section is a bit grandiose and rhetorical. Especially the last few lines and the "we are all we have" line. This is something I'd expect to hear in an Obama speech, but I think the rhetoric effect is unnecessary and ineffective here, given your audience.

Other than that, I think you're off to a very good start. I especially enjoyed the implementation of the "phase shifting" analogy, as you articulated it well and it presented it in a way that made a lot of sense.

-- EdwardBontkowski - 24 Nov 2009