I removed the other drafts of this and other essays. We are concentrating here on one text.

Having left yourself only one paragraph in which to accomplish everything else, you are necessarily somewhat compressed. You haven't shown that the best way to start having a practice is not to have one, as though the savings from salary were a better form of capital than a network providing clients. You have proposed that after two years more of school you will be ready to work for five years to save some money to work for two years more at a job after which you might be ready to have a practice in which you will perhaps not continue to feel afraid of failure. Might it not be a better idea to confront the fear of failure directly, as a matter of psychotherapy, and spend the next decade instead doing what you would enjoy and what would profit society?

“A na-ekwu ekwu a ga-ahu,” said my teacher, as I walked into my first Igbo class. Only knowing basic greetings and names of foods, I smiled nervously and responded “ọ dị mma,” which means, “I’m fine.” She looked at me with a puzzled stare and laughed. I knew something was wrong. Despite my Igbo heritage, I never learned the language growing up. For that reason, I had always felt like I was partially disconnected from Igbo culture, thus, when I found an Igbo class at a nearby university, I jumped at the chance to take it. However, after this initial exchange of words with my professor, I began to doubt my decision to take the class. My professor, sensing my embarrassment and discomfort, proceeded to translate her earlier statement in English, which was “talk the talk and you will see.” I nodded in acknowledgment. As the semester continued, I did see. Through learning Igbo, I was also able to begin to grasp untranslatable aspects of the culture that were previously invisible to me. Language holds the secrets of a people and shapes the way we think, our values, our concepts of time and self. So, although I understood parts of Igbo culture, a large part of it was previously inaccessible to me because I could not speak Igbo. However, I was fortunate that resources existed that enabled me to eventually learn my father’s language, thereby better understanding his culture. Others are not so lucky. According to National Geographic, every two weeks a language dies. Language extinction occurs when the languages of powerful groups of people replace languages of minority groups. Often this shift is facilitated by policies, especially education policies. As a result of the policies, younger generations do not have as much use for their language, prompting the cycle of extinction. This is occurring in Nigeria where English is the official language even though there are more than 500 indigenous languages. These languages are oral based, i.e., they lack a standardized writing system. Therefore, the knowledge and history of indigenous peoples are also at risk of extinction. Due to my experience with Igbo, I know personally the invaluable role language plays in understanding culture; thus, I believe it is imperative to protect all languages. I have had experience with combating language endangerment that has shown me the influential role that law plays in protecting languages. For the past three years, I have worked in Swarthmore College’s Endangered Language Lab. I also worked with the Smithsonian Center for Folk Life and Cultural Heritage to organize an upcoming Endangered Language Festival. In these jobs, I worked with and researched endangered languages and also familiarized myself with cases of language revitalization, such as the resurrection of Welsh in Wales. These language revitalizations have resulted from government legislation that enacted the use of endangered languages in education, as well as in business and government documents. I believe the primary way to revive a language is through making it useful again; this can be done by adoptice native languages in education, media, business and in government. The UN Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) recently encouraged education in native language by means of books and textbooks in local languages. UNESCO said “translation into and promotion of local languages supports linguistic and cultural diversity and serves as the foundation for all social, economic and cultural life.” Getting to this point, where native languages are used as languages of instruction require getting local governments to recognize the importance of the linguistic diversity. This can be done. Firstly if various organazations put pressure on the government to recognize native languages this could lead to governmental support. Secondly, the social utility of the languages must be changed in the minds of the people to get them to require that their government take policy steps to protect their languages. Both of these steps come with large hinderances. Firstly, convincing a government to change its language policy will mean making the government change its political and governing motivations. Since Colonialism, governments have historically frowned on having multiple language because from a logisitic stand point it makes governing multiple ethnic groups hard. Also, having one language has been seen as a way to unify a people and promite nationalism. However, language is not a depleatable resource; multilingualism is common among most humans. So recognition of native languages would not replace the use of the current governing language. Also, it the social utility of the native language is raised then the government may be more incentivized to protect it. Raising the social utility of a language is probably the most difficult aspect of language revitalization because of globalization. Many native languages are isolated to their local regions and so their speakers often see them as a way to remain isolated from the rest of the world, or held back as opposed to “global” languages are a means to upward mobility. However, that mentality is a reflection of the desire to get out of poverty and the great economic inequalities between members of the same country. However, if there were a way to lessen that gap between the haves and the have nots with a more equal distribution of wealth, then a global language would not be seen as a means to a better life and therefore native languages would not be so quickly abandoned.

second draft

He stood there in his navy blue, and well-tailored suit. A carefully folded white silk handkerchief peaked from his breast pocket and a slightly loosened tie hung from his neck.

"I just won my case today."

"Oh, good for you." I mumbled through a mouth full of food, while staring intently at my plate. I hoped that if I concentrated on my food long enough he would get the hint.

" You know, you can't trust some women; but the judge saw that. Can you believe she knew where all my stuff was? She knew about how much my apartment is worth, my cls 63, even my watches! Who knows that, but a gold digger?... Now listen, I'm not going to bother you, but I just felt happy about this case, and when I feel happy I like to talk to people" I noticed his abandoned table, one place setting, one empty glass. "Did you know man was only born with two fears?.... Fear of falling and fear of sound. It's cuz when we were first in this world it was always dark, so we had heightened hearing. Sound told us if there was danger, and falling, well falling is falling... Anyways, my point is that all of our other fears are learned. Fear only holds you back from living and makes you weak. I could go up to a tiger, if a tiger were right there. I could go up to a tiger and look him in the eyes and pet him, and if i show no fear, he'd let me. But, the minute I show fear, he'd bite my fucking leg off. ... One time this asshole put a gun to my head, you see I had to put his brother in his place, back in the day, right up there on Lenox ... Anyway, his brother ran to this giant, a real big guy, and he came to settle stuff. So he comes, and he puts a gun to my head, and instead of shaking and crying, you know what i did? ...I said, 'Well Tyrone, I guess you're just gonna have to shoot me because your brother was an asshole who got what he deserved.' Do you know what this Goliath did?! He didn't shoot me that's what, but you better believe, if I let him see my fear, that would have been it."

He suddenly stopped talking. He stared at me and there was a lonely desperation in his eyes. Then, as if awaken from a dream too soon, he rubbed his eyes with frustration, and walked away. I was afraid. Not for my safety but a deeper fear.

I don't want to be a lawyer held back by fear. What is it to be a lawyer not held back by fear? It is to recognize that fear, analyze it and come up with a plan to use the roots of that fear as motivation. I am afraid of failure. Failure to me means not being successful, i.e., not having control and fulfillment. I have come to the realization that I need to be my own boss. I need to create something that is my own. I do not want to be beholden to anyone for the entirety of my life. To start something that is my own, I need to be able to have capital. To do this, I plan to work in a firm and save as much money as I can for five years maximum. After five years I'll leave, no matter what. I won't buy the bigger apartment, the nice car or the designer clothing because those things won't abate my fear. Only having as much control over my life as possible will. During this 5 year period, I will try and decide what will fulfill me. I know this will be the most challenging aspect for me because I can get swept up in the crowd. However, after 5 years I will get a job working for a company or non profit that specializes in the field that I am interested in and I will hone a specialty and gather a network. I will stay at this job for 2 years, after which I will leave and start my own company or non-profit that fills a gap. I know that this will be the single most terrifying and fulfilling step in life I can take. At this point I will be my own boss and as long as I don't rely too heavily on a few donors or clients, I can make sure that I am my own captain.

Fear

Intro

In what sense is this an introduction?

Fear of death

Winter, a season where all things die, death is natural, death is inevitable, death is terrifying and it consumes my thoughts. what happens next? where do we go? is this just it? If this is it then what am i doing, what is my life because life is the natural coupling of death, I can't think about death without thinking about life. how to live, do I live in fear of what's to come next after death or with exuberance because I know nothing is coming. This is it.

Insights from a stranger

"Oh good for you," I mumbled, wondering what this stranger's motives were, still thinking about death.

" You know, you can't trust some women. But the judge saw that, do you believe she knew where all my stuff was, she knew about how much my apartment is worth, my cls 63 even my watches, who knows that but a gold digger... now listen i'm not going to bother you but i just felt happy about this case and when i feel happy i like to talk to people"

My background

I grew up in a religious family, catholic. Catholics believe that you can buy and fake your way into heaven. They'll never tell you that but that's what it is. Endless rituals, offerings and confessions. "Pardon me father for I have sinned, its been 5 years since my last confession, I've lied to my parents, faught with my siblings and (have questioned the very foundation of everything that you teach)". I never dare to say the last part of that out loud because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of death and I'm afraid to live.

Fearless lawyer

This is a good start, because now that you've written the prologue, you can write the essay it precedes. The question to which it brought you is now the question you need to answer. "How" questions have real answers. It's time to start answering yours.

Intro “Bzzzzzzzzz”, a nat buzzed around the slightly wilted flowers set on the table with a self aware effort to decorate. The table cloth was paper and the edges were cut out like snow flakes a second grader made with ernest hands, tremoring with the excitement of winter.

Fear of death

Winter, a season where all things die, death is natural, death is inevitable, death is terrifying and it consumes my thoughts. what happens next? where do we go? is this just it? If this is it then what am i doing, what is my life because life is the natural coupling of death, I can’t think about death without thinking about life. how to live, do I live in fear of what’s to come next after death or with exuberance because I know nothing is coming. This is it.

Insights from a stranger

He stood there in his navy blue well tailored pin stripe suit, White pocket square to match his shirt and a navy tie with some type of smart pattern on it. “ i just won my case today” “Oh good for you” I mumbled, wondering what this stranger’s motives were, still thinking about death. “ You know, you can’t trust some women. But the judge saw that, do you believe she knew where all my stuff was, she knew about how much my apartment is worth, my cls 63 even my watches, who knows that but a gold digger... now listen i’m not going to bother you but i just felt happy about this case and when i feel happy i like to talk to people” I noticed his abandoned table, one place setting, one glass of emptied brown alcohol. “did you know man was only born with two fears.... fear of falling and fear of sound, its cuz when we were first in this world it was always dark, so we had heightened hearing so sound told us if there was danger or not, and falling, well falling is falling... anyways, my point is that all of our other fears are learned. Fear only holds you back from living and makes you weak, I could go up to a tiger, if a tiger were right there, I could go up to a tiger and look him in the eyes and pet him and if i show no fear, he’d let me, but the minute I show fear he’d bite my fucking leg off. … One time this asshole put a gun to my head, you see i had to put his brother in his place back in the day, right up there on lenox … anyway his brother ran to this giant, real big guy, and he came to settle stuff and he comes and he puts a gun to my head and instead of shaking and crying you know what i did? ...I said well Tyron, I guess you’re just gonna have to shoot me because your brother was an asswhole who got what he deserved, and fo you know what this galiath did?! he didn’t shoot me that’s what, but you better believe if I let him see my fear that would have been it.”

My background

I grew up in a religious family, catholic. Catholics believe that you can buy and fake your way into heaven. They’ll never tell you that but that’s what it is. Endless rituals, offerings and confessions. “Pardon me father for I have sinned, its been 5 years since my last confession, I’ve lied to my parents, faught with my siblings and (have questioned the very foundation of everything that you teach)”. I never dare to say the last part of that out loud because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of death and I’m afraid to live. My grandfather died in november, 5 days before thanksgiving. He believed in me more than i did in myself. When I told him I wanted to go to Harvard law, he told me I could do it and he didn’t just tell me that to encourage me, he told me like it was true. like he was saying the sky is blue and the grass is green, like it was a fact. I didn’t believe it though, so I’m at Columbia. That’s my problem, my lack of self confidence coupled with my constant hunger for more. Its a crippling cycle where I want more but am too afraid to go for it. Its much akin to looking at a freshly baked pie on a counter right in front of me and i want to take a slice but I can’t. Nothing is holding me back from the pie but myself, my fear.

Fearless lawyer

I want to be a lawyer without fear. I don’t want to be held back by fear. What is it to be a lawyer not held back by fear? Does it mean that you can beat your own path, that you’re not afraid to control your own destiny. That you;re not afraid to be out on your own. I’m not sure. I know that I want to be a lawyer that can reach out and take power and not have an inferiority complex about it. I want to make a difference, I want to leave my mark on this world, so that when I die I know that people will tell stories about me, that i will get my moment in history. That’s what I want. I want my sentence, paragraph, chapter in a history book. How do i do that as a lawyer, our jobs are to serve others. How do I serve others and yet serve myself?

-- By ChristinaObiajulu - 26 Feb 2013

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